Let’s talk about marital entropy today, but before that, I think it is very important to confess I have never had to deal with any case in the whole of my years of counselling that is as complicated as having to counsel married and about-to-marry people.
Personally, I think marriage counselling is one of the most delicate aspects of general counselling as any advice you give as a counsellor, may trigger other reactions (Positive or negative).
Wrong marriage counsellings can lead to events like marriage breakdown, Family diorientations, resentments and worst still, even suicides.
In this post, I will deal with Marital Entropy, and real effort will be made to dissect it finely. For the sake of clarity and good understanding, I will talk about the meaning of Marital Entropy, its causes and also some of the proven solutions or ways by which it can be remedied.
So whether you are currently married and feeling dissatisfied with your marriage or you are yet to get married and looking online for free counselling tips on marriage, you are just right on time and in the right platform… Counsellorshive
So, Let’s dive right into this:
What Is Marital Entropy Or Entropy In relationships?
From the standpoint of a counsellor, marital entropy is the natural breakdown or erosion in every marriage. In order words, marital entropy is the natural decay or breakdown that happens in a marriage if it does not receive the necessary preventative maintenance and upgrades.
You have got to know that breakdowns in relationships happen naturally, and can also be prevented from taking ugly turns when the right steps are taken on time.
According to a professor in BYU’s School of Family Life, the principle of Marital Entropy suggests that:
Marital Entropy Causes
In order to understand the causes of Marital Entropy perfectly, I feel there is a need to point out again that Marital entropy occurs naturally because we are all humans. For this cause, therefore, I am going to give a breakdown of what I have termed the Marital Map. This marital map is further captured in-depth in Rosberg’s 6 secrets to lasting love. This book has been a blessing, particularly in my marriage. I have since learned to love my husband every day no matter what.
You can check it out too on Amazon.
1. Dream Marriage Fantasy.
Every couple feels fulfilled to have been married to the right person as soon as the ceremony is over. They are both ecstatic and hopeful about the future. They look forward to having every goal they have set out to achieve materialize, there is open communication and trust. Soon, Marital Entropy takes its course.
2. Disappointments Setting In.
While you may ask if disappointment in relationships is normal, my answer is yes; disappointments happen in marriages and they are normal things in a healthy relationship. Your spouse will definitely do things that do not please you at all. In the event that these disappointments are not handled in a very mature way, and with the urgency and sincerity it requires, it degenerates into discouragement.
3. Discouragements In Marriage.
Discouragements are mostly used by women in marriage, and this is because they easily feel the heat of a marital entropy faster than men. When these discouragements pile up and are not worked on in a healthy manner, they too degenerate into the distance.
4. Marital Distancing.
Marital Distances are protective walls couples who have had enough of the discouragements build around themselves, and it is one of the serious causes of marital entropy. These protective walls will cause a disconnect between the couple if it is not handled or tackled fast.
5. Marital Disconnect.
This is the stage where the man is doing his thing and the woman is doing her thing. The man wakes up every day without the usual hey Good morning. The woman on the other hand prepares the sort of dish she feels she’s cool with without putting the man into the picture. At this point, it becomes difficult if not impossible to move into marital discord.
6. Marital Discord.
This is the aftereffect of a poorly managed marital disconnect. At this stage and cause of Marital entropy, other people begin to see that you have conflict in your marriage. There is a constant argument, physical exchanges, abuses, and even your inlaws get involved. At this stage, if nothing concrete is not also done, it degenerates into emotional divorce.
7. Emotional Divorce.
This is just a step away from the courthouse where you may end up filing for divorce.
While it does not matter what stage you are on the marital map as listed above, the most important thing is the ability of any of the spouses to move up one step at a time i.e. retrace your step one step at a time. This leads me to the proven solutions to Marital Entropy.
Proven Solutions To Marital Entropy.
Having looked at the various stages and causes of marital entropy, I will try to make a detailed list of the solutions. Permit me to add that the solutions to marital entropy are really common, but they need sacrifice in order to practice them.
1. Making out time for your Spouse.
It does not matter how busy you may be, you have got to make out some time for your spouse. Women feel the absence of their partner more, and every husband needs to understand this. It is really pathetic to see men who claim to be busy for days without carving out time to take the woman out and also to have real discussions with her.
2. Sincere communication.
This is another solution I have always recommended to my clients when I have the opportunity to counsel them on marriage. Real communication is different from Gossiping about other people. Real communication is having the freedom to tell your partner how you feel without being scolded or told to keep quiet.
3. Freedom to Explore Your Partner’s Body.
I recently told my husband how I became shy to touch his Penis on our second night. He laughed.
We have been married for a while now, but I am so free to touch him at any area of his body and the same thing applies to him.
Having to tolerate each other’s trivial mistakes is another solution or antidote against marital entropy. Offences will definitely come, but your ability to let go will make a big difference in your relationship. Learn to tolerate and forgive your spouse’s eating habits, snoring habits, or even sleeping and bathing habit. Instead of scolding them, device A means of helping them overcome.
5. Learning to do things in Common.
While one of you may not be good at a task, he or she can be helped out by the other partner. The house chores can be shared. While he’s peeling the potatoes, you are washing the dishes. Doing these things will not only increase the sense of togetherness, but it will also make it a bit difficult to be resentful.
6. Get involved.
Never leave the whole responsibility or the conversation to your spouse. You have got to be involved.
Few Questions I Get Plus Answers I Give.
What does a woman want most in a relationship?
Women need their men to show some kindness, patience, understanding, empathy, and compassion. Regardless of the type of relationship you are into, you have got to be considerate of each other’s feelings. … Being supportive to each other can do a lot of good. Supporting your partner is a primary role.
What a man wants in a woman
From my years of experience counselling and relating with married men, especially with my husband, a man wants a woman who is not only caring but also hardworking. A caring woman will make a nice person and will also make a man’s life happy. Also, a hardworking woman is a proof that she will be supportive of the man.
I have bought and read some books on relationships and marriage, and I feel it is also very important to recommend some of these books to you as well.
Find some of my recommendations below: