Going through a divorce can be a difficult and emotional experience. It sometimes becomes worse if you divorce as an elderly or 50. Naturally, you feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next.
We do understand it when people feel lonely after divorce. Just imagine having to live, eat, watch the movie, gym alone.
If you’re trying to rebuild yourself after a divorce, then here is the ideal post for you. In this post, we will look extensively into 15 ways to rebuild yourself after divorce. This is sure to help you on your journey.
Does this sound like what you have been looking for? Then let’s get to it quickly.
15 Proven Ways To Rebuilding Yourself After Divorce
1. Take time to grieve and process your emotions
It’s important to allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions that come with a divorce, whether they be sadness, anger, or relief. Allow yourself time to grieve and process these emotions before moving on.
It wouldn’t be the right decision to think you are a super-human and ready to hit on the road of life just as soon as you got divorced, take some time out to grieve.
2. Seek support from friends and family.
Lean on the people who love and care about you during this difficult time. They can provide a listening ear, offer comfort and advice, and help you to feel less alone.
3. Consider therapy or counselling.
A trained professional can help you work through your emotions and offer guidance on how to move forward.
4. Focus on self-care.
Take care of your physical and mental health by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and practising relaxation techniques like meditation or yoga.
5. Explore new interests and hobbies.
This is a great time to try something new and discover what brings you joy. It can also be a way to meet new people and form new connections.
6. Set boundaries and establish independence.
After a divorce, it’s important to establish your own boundaries and independence. This may mean setting aside time for yourself, setting boundaries with your ex-partner, or creating a new living situation that reflects your own needs and desires.
7. Learn from the experience.
While it may be difficult, try to look back on your marriage and identify any patterns or behaviours that may have contributed to the divorce. This can help you to grow and make better decisions in the future.
8. Forgive yourself and your ex-partner.
Holding onto resentment or anger will only hold you back. Try to find a way to forgive yourself and your ex-partner for any mistakes or hurt that may have occurred during the marriage.
9. Find ways to cope with stress.
Divorce can be a major source of stress, so it’s important to find healthy ways to cope with it. This might include talking to a friend, engaging in physical activity, or seeking support from a therapist.
10. Surround yourself with positive influences.
Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, rather than those who bring negativity into your life.
11. Set goals and work towards them.
Having goals can give you a sense of purpose and direction. Whether they be personal or professional, setting and working towards goals can help you to feel more in control of your life.
12. Practice gratitude.
Focusing on the things that you are thankful for can help to shift your perspective and bring positivity into your life.
13. Seek legal advice if necessary.
If you’re dealing with legal issues related to the divorce, such as property division or child custody, it’s important to seek the advice of a qualified attorney.
14. Build a new support system.
After a divorce, it’s important to build a new support system of friends and loved ones who can provide emotional support and help you to navigate this new phase of your life.
15. Take things one day at a time.
Rebuilding yourself after a divorce can be a long and challenging process. It’s important to take things one day at a time and be kind to yourself as you move forward.
What are the 5 stages of divorce recovery?
In the next paragraphs, we will look at the 5 stages of divorce recovery. You have probably heard of them as the stages you go through while mourning a death or a loss, but in the following paragraph, I will explain how they show up also in divorce, because, believe it or not, divorce is a death even if you are the one who wants out of the marriage, you still have to mourn the death of the marriage, you have to mourn like every other death, the death of the dream you had before you got into the marriage.
At the start, you didn’t think you will be divorced, you married this person thinking you will grow old together, thinking you will be buried side-by-side, thinking you will have grandchildren together, and share this lifetime together, and that dream is gone Now ….. so you have to mourn the death of that dream.
1. Denial Stage
This is actually the first stage in the divorce recovery process and is sometimes adjudged the most important. This stage sees you want to deny that it ever happened, that you actually just went through a divorce.
2. Anger Stage
Now you are angry; angry that you had to end your marriage….. angry that a once-beautiful togetherness has now come to an abrupt or unplanned end. At this stage, you are simply asking questions like; why must it be my marriage? what could I have done better to keep it?
You may even start getting angry at God, your friends, and even your colleagues at work.
3. Bargaining Stage
At this stage, you simply make plenty of deals. You see yourself making deals with your spouse, deals with God, you even make deals with yourself. You are literally gonna make these deals in order to make things right again.
4. Depression Stage
At this stage, you are faced with the harsh truth; there is no way out of this, it is hitting you and you simply do not know how to reinvent yourself, how you are going to go through it or how you are gonna see life differently now.
Here are some possible behaviours that are usually associated with this stage:
a. You are exhausted
Exhaustion is a common feature in the depression stage of divorce recovery. You will be exhausted because there are so many thoughts running through your disturbed mind.
b. You can’t get out of bed
There will be times when getting out of bed becomes a herculean task because you are not just exhausted, but you cannot really make sense of why you should be up from bed.
c. You have no appetite.
Losing your appetite for food or things you loved in the past becomes really common with you. You just lose this sense of taste for not just food, but other very important things in your life.
d. You can’t sleep
You will at some point in this stage lose your appetite for sleep. This is usually caused by heavy thinking and even loss of Appetite.
Other features of the Depression stage include:
- You spend an inordinate amount of time curled up in a fetal position
- The thought of what is happening seems so overwhelming, you just can’t deal
- It feels like a tidal wave is coming at you, and it’s just too big and too scary to face
- The only answer you can find is to pull the covers up over your head
You finally got to the point where you accepted that calling your marriage a quit was necessary and you see yourself moving through it.
At this stage, you can now see clearly what is going to happen on the other side, and you are hopeful.
From experience, a lot of divorcees go through these five stages, but sometimes people do not go through these stages in the order outlined above, sometimes, going through a divorce can see people go through the stages differently.
So far, I have outlined 15 Proven Ways To Rebuilding Yourself After Divorce. Which of these are you willing to start practising immediately?
Let me have them in the comments section below.
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