While I am never a die-hard preacher of Divorce because as a professing Christian, I have always chosen to trust the Biblical teachings of sticking with one’s partner in rain or in shine, I also think it is right to lend some helping hands to those who for some inevitable reasons discovered the best way to become happy again in life is to live separately or outrightly divorce.
This situation becomes really frustrating and difficult to regain balance when it happens at age 50 and above. This is because not everybody knows how to rebuild life after divorce at 50. I mean, where exactly are you gonna begin from?
Getting a divorce at 50 has its accompanying challenges such as emotions of anger, resentment, and shock which usually come when you recall having to invest decades in your previous relationship
Never worry much, I have you well covered in this blog post because I will be sharing 10 Perfect Tips On How To Rebuild Life After Divorce At 50.
Let’s get into this quickly.
10 Perfect Tips On How To Rebuild Life After Divorce At 50.
I guarantee that generally, you will learn all you need to know just about how to recover after a divorce.
1. Give Yourself Time To Heal.
After divorce at 50, the very first thing you want to do is give yourself a good time to grieve and heal from the trauma of divorcing at this age. You have got to do it yourself because nobody is going to do it for you. You can take your time to seek support from a good therapist around you, or discuss it with a counsellor online. Generally, you have got to give your heart the time it deserves to heal.
2. Work On Finding Your Own Voice.
This is another strategy you desperately need to strive to get. We live in a society where we are made to believe that we need total submission to our partners. Women are the most vulnerable here because they live all their lives in submission to their husbands and everything they have to say, pretty comes from the mouth of their husbands.
While this is true for women, it also happens (but in a smaller proportion) for men. So if you are ever going to learn how to rebuild life after divorce at 50, then you must strive towards finding your own voice and making that voice very audible and bold. At this stage of your life, it is not the right time to begin to look around for what people have got to say to you or the pieces of advice you can garner from here and there, it is actually time you learn to develop Your own voice. You have to take charge.
3. Become Really Independent.
Part of what you must do in the course of learning how to rebuild life after divorce at 50 is that you must become independent. This is really important since you will now be in charge of everything in your life including decision-making.
Independence here goes beyond parting ways with someone you consider toxic to you. It covers also becoming financially independent. Becoming financially independent after your divorce at 50 would give you that sense of confidence and assurance that you can actually get things done without your former partner’s assistance/support.
While people may argue that finding a reliable source of income at 50 is nearly impossible owing to the fact that not many places can hire them, well, from my experience counselling divorce people, I can vividly say that there are other means by which you can get income coming in passively. You may contact us to get a list of these passive means of getting income at 50.
4. Find Out What You Love To Do.
I guarantee you will finally be able to rebuild your life after your divorce at 50 if only you can look within and discover what it is you love to do so much. Usually, before you got divorced, your life literally revolved around the will and decision of your partner.
When you finally discover what you love to do after your divorce, you will suddenly get to better appreciate the power of freedom to do these things without getting hindered by anyone
Some of these things might be:
- Finally getting the courage to write that book you have always wanted to write.
- Finally getting the opportunity to go on that vacation you have always longed for.
- Finally able to enjoy your own company (If that gives you more joy).
5. Begin To Make Real Friends.
Obviously, you might want to begin to make friends who will get your back while you remain divorced. You might have been bedevilled by toxic friends, but that is not enough reason to cut the option of making new friends outrightly.
6. Join Grief Support Groups.
Except you are completely happy to be finally alone, you might need to join support groups to either tell your story, meet new people or lift your depression as rightly suggested in Barbara Ballinger, Margaret Crane’s Book.
Most of the divorced people I have had the privilege to counsel in time past, had one thing in common; They all had holes of disappointment and depression in their hearts.
True, most divorce at 50 brings accompanying disappointments and depression. One of the best ways to learn how to rebuild life after divorce at 50 is to rob the minds of others with similar stories in grief support groups.
7. Change Some Habits.
At this stage in your life, it is actually time to change some of your habits. This will include your financial habit, your vacation habit, and a host of other habits you have gathered over the years. So if you are gonna learn how to rebuild life after divorce at 50, you must be willing to offload all the habits that you had before divorcing, they will weigh you down. Change your frequent anger habit, lazy habits and others.
One other bad habit you might need to totally overhaul is frequent jealousy Whether you are going to jump into another relationship or not, you have got to drop the frequent habit of jealousy in your life.
8. Write Down What Your Needs Are.
When you fail to write down your needs on paper, you may never get it done. Take your paper and pen, and put down everything you want in your new life. When you write what your needs are, it will be very easy to make priorities.
Write down how your new life should go, how much you hope to make in a year, and where you hope to visit in the near future.
9. Develop Strategies To Get Things Done.
A strategy creates a vision and direction for your whole life after the divorce. With a strategy, you can rest assured that you will never lose sight of the bigger picture after divorce.
10. Be Really Ready To Forget The Past.
Sometimes we put ourselves in bondage by holding onto the grudges of the past. If you will ever become happy after divorce at 50, you must make real efforts to stop grudging.
So Is Life Easier After Divorce?
Happiness after divorce all depends on why you divorced in the first place and the conditions surrounding your divorce. But research states that women are often a lot happier after a divorce than men are. Some women discover a new way to do things, a new passion, or reconnect with an old one.
Few Questions I Get About Divorcing At 50
Will I ever be happy after divorce?
In my years of experience counselling divorced adults, I have come to realize that divorce, in and of itself, does not lead to a happy life. While some people are happier when they divorce, a study found that a vast majority of people who divorce especially those in their 50s experience a decrease in happiness.
Will I regret getting divorced?
In a 2016 Financial Settlement Divorce Survey by Seddons’, it was mentioned that 22% of more than 800 divorcees wished they hadn’t ended their marriage. Also, in a separate journal, a former High Court judge, observed that couples who divorce are likely to regret it five years after and that is why they ask questions like “how to rebuild after divorce”.
What Are The 5 Stages Of Divorce?
Although there seem to be only two stages of divorce which are subsequently broken down into 5 sub-stages. The legal process and the emotional process. The emotional stage of divorce is divided into 5 stages namely: Denial stage, Anger stage, Bargaining stage, Depression stage, and Acceptance stage.
What can you Not Do During A Divorce?
There are a few things you should never do during divorce even if you divorced at 50.
- Put your anger In check.
- Never Expect To Get Everything.
- Your Kids are important and not pawns
- Prioritize Your children’s welfare.
- Don’t use the court system to get back at your spouse.
So far, I have tried to outline the 10 Perfect Tips On How To Rebuild Life After Divorce At 50.
If you feel comfortable talking to a counsellor for free online, click here to speak to a counsellor for free.
You can also let me know what you feel in the comment section below.