Losing a loved one can be a really tough experience for anyone to go through and it feels almost impossible for one to heal and move on . There is no universal method for healing but there are quite a few ways to make the grieving process a little bit more bearable.
In this article, we are going to be shedding light on “How To Deal With Losing A Loved One”. If you have been searching for this, I guarantee that this will be the end of your search because all questions will be answered.
If you are ready let’s get into it immediately.
How To Deal With Losing A Loved One.
When you have lost a loved one, you’ll need to connect with those who also lost loved ones. Try to maintain the normality of your life. Don’t make any significant changes to your life( moving, job changes, significant relationships) during the first year of your loss. This will help you feel grounded and safe.
There is no quick fix to dealing with grief, it is a slow and continuous process as it is a complex emotional journey. Here are 10 steps to help you deal with grief:
- Acceptance: it is important to accept your feeling and not let your emotions go numb because acceptance is the first step to healing. it is normal to first reject the reality of what has happened but it’s important to consciously own those feelings before they break you.
- Companionship: The people you surround yourself with are very important at this stage. According to experts, they can either help or hinder your journey. The best companions are those who are just there for us.
- Use art as an outlet: Art is the most helpful healing method and can help to channel those feelings into something creative.
- Write a journal: A lot of people don’t like expressing their thoughts and emotions, instead of bottling it all up, writing your feelings in a journal can also help you understand and channel your emotions.
- Create your own rituals to honour those who have passed: These rituals can be anything you want them to be, it is encouraged to think about what made your loved ones happy when they were alive and do it to honour their memory like having afternoon tea was their thing, you could pour them a cup of tea and reflect on the good time while their cup sits there. No matter what you believe in, all that matter is that you are able to honour their memory.
- Don’t trust in the five stages of grief: As grief is experienced differently by different people, just focus on how you are healing presently without worrying about what is to come.
- Preserve your memories: You can make a memory box full of reminders of your loved one, and happy memories you can write letters to them and put them in the box, tell them about your life etc.
- Join a support group: There are a lot of support groups with people who have gone through what you are going through, try to join the one closest to you.
- Take care of yourself: There is an urge to neglect yourself, but do not. Eat well, rest well, exercise etc.
- Forgive yourself for things you did or didn’t do: It was not your fault forgive yourself.
Symptoms of shock after death of loved one.
Shock feels like numbness and disbelief. it is our body’s way of protecting us from pain. it can last days or weeks, with the person either excessively crying or unable to laugh. it could be a bodily or emotional response. These are some of the symptoms of shock after bereavement: Sickness, Dizziness, Nausea, Doziness, Numbness, and Emptiness.
You could also have other symptoms like:
- Complete disbelief about what has happened.
- Numbness: feeling nothing initially
- A myriad of other various emotions set in and some people react strangely.
Words to comfort someone who lost a loved one.
People who are grieving are going through a lot right now, saying the right words at this time is very important. The words you say now can either cause the person to spiral down the rabbit hole or really console them. Words that best console them are words of love and compassion.
You can try these phrases:
- Can I come around to visit you?
- Would you like to stay over with me for someday?
- I am grieving with you
- Can I help you with anything?
- Take all the time you need, I’m here with you.
Please be considerate and don’t say phrases like:
- I know how you feel.
- Stop crying
- They are in a better place.
- Time heals all wounds
- You can always have another child
When you can’t do or say anything, offer a hug, a shoulder to lie on, and a listening ear. All these actions speak louder than words. Be sincere, their emotions are heightened, and you wouldn’t want to be the one to push them down the rabbit hole.
Why is it so painful to lose a loved one?
As humans, we are social creatures and we connect intimately with people. So when we lose people to who we are attached, is like the bond is being cut. The pain of detaching from someone who we know is not coming back. The pain could be physical or emotional. This process cannot be rationalized, it is an instinctive human process. The intensity and frequency of emotional response will not let up, for most people that ball of emotion gets smaller but still hurts and you get to relive the same emotional response again. If you are going through a mourning period or you know someone who is, don’t worry it will get better.
Is it OK not to cry when someone dies?
There is nothing wrong with crying when a loved one dies. It is even advisable because it helps to express your healing and facilitate your healing. You cry because you miss them and love them. You may not cry immediately or at all but don’t feel guilty, it happens sometimes. You can grieve alright even without crying.
I hope I have shed some light on things to do when grieving, what to say to comfort and the symptoms of shock. If you have anything you would like me to talk about, let me know in the comment below and subscribe to our newsletter.